Whilst at group I listened to an explanation of what may have happened to cause emotional problems for people with BPD. Everyone handles emotions differently with some people being emotionally sensitive whilst others are emotionally strong, emotions do not seem to cause the reaction that people like me envy. But not everyone ends up with mental health issues.
Thinking back I can remember that I would be teased and made fun of if I got angry by being called a hot head or wow what a temper you have you are such a hot head. Being upset is a sign of weakness, you need to stay strong and that I was made to feel guilty if I was to pick something that I wanted or needed to do. So therefore a potential reason for why I am this way.
But is there a possibility that being emotionally sensitive os not so much of a bad thing?
Most of the time I hate it – being able to pick up on other people’s emotions so quickly – sometimes even before they have identified the emotion but yet I struggle to identify what I am feeling. I take on others sadness, anger and fear and feel their pain. I walk around experiencing everything that other people do and that causes major problems. I get angry for no reason because I am picking up on what other people are feeling, I get sad when something happens in another person’s life, I feel it so deeply it feels like I am being pulled apart.
On the positive side I have great empathy for others I actually feel the way that they do and so can emotionally connect although sometimes I worry that they may find me insincere. But I do think it gives me the ability to read my husband without even needing words. I know that this happens over time but it was pretty instant and sometimes a little scary. I am not sure if it is just because I know him so well or that he is really predictable I can identify what he is feeling, wanting to say and even what he wants to eat!!! I can generally do that with others too but not so much the food part!!!
Maybe I can learn to love this trait but still sometimes I really hate being emotionally raw all the time.