I have this overwhelming sense of responsibility for everything (something I have written about before). But I think I have had a breakthrough and I wanted to document it so I can see what I have achieved.
I had this sense that I had upset someone – which is something that you can not be sure of unless that person tells you, but I had been trying to be helpful and as a result I had caused another person some distress.
My initial feelings (emotion mind) – guilt, I needed to fix the problem, I needed to problem solve, I needed to apologies and I needed to repair the damage with this person. The emotional mind working over time. This is were I would get stuck …
However I continued to think about the situation and called upon reasonable mind to try and identify a wise mind decision.
Reasonable mind – I did not remember that the situation had been discussed a few weeks ago and a decision had been made, and neither did anyone else. So really no one was to blame.
Wise mind – That I could not really fix the problem without drawing attention to the situation, if the other person was upset they needed to tell me. At that point it could be addressed. It was not my responsibility to fix the situation and apologise, degrading my own self-respect because i did not do anything maliciously on purpose to cause distress.
So instead of days and days feeling guilty, upset and angry at myself, I decided that I was not responsible for fixing the problem.
Sounds so trivial and that I should be able to do this anyway (judgment) but it meant that I did not have an angry melt down – I broke the cycle that so often becomes overwhelming for me 🙂