Labels, labels everywhere

Carrying a Delivery

Life seems to be a whole host of different labels that are put on people to try and order the chaos:

  • Depression
  • Anxiety Disorder
  • Dyslexia
  • Dyspraxia
  • Bi Polar (BP)
  • Borderline
  • Obese
  • Underweight

But who are these labels really for, the individual who has been labeled or the world that wants to put things and people into nice neat boxes because they will cause the world to spontaneously combust otherwise.

So I find myself asking the question: Has yet another label helped or hindered my acceptance of who I am?

One of the major issues with someone with BPD is an unstable self-image, who am I and what do I really believe in?

Most of the time it changes depending on who I am with at the time and can flip flop in a conversation! The diagnosis of BPD at least is something that I have been told I have by someone who has a speciality and is more knowledgable than I.  So in some ways it gives me something to cling onto.

I am a borderline.  On the other hand, this new label could be detrimental if I start to use it as an excuse to my behaviour and the way that I am.

Yes, having BPD sucks, I have problems regulating my mood and emotions and I get angry and frustrated quickly. But would I change it, probably not because I would be scared about what else I might loose. My husband describes me as being able to bring out the best in him, hard working, determined, stubborn (which sometimes is a negative!), willing to please others to my own determent and loving.  However he is also the one who receives the anger and rage which is directed at the world but has a nasty habit of erupting in his direction.  I will never understand why he stays with me maybe he is a fool (something my psychologist asked me in my first session) or maybe he feels that the good can outweigh the bad.

I am who I am and I am fighting to change the bad without loosing the good that others see in me.  I will succeed it is not a nice smooth linear process and I quickly get frustrated with myself due to the slow progress I feel I am making.  But we are all our worst critics! People insist that I have and are showing continual improvement.  So I have to work on seeing those changes too.


9 responses to “Labels, labels everywhere

  1. Pingback: Labels, labels everywhere | Finding Amy·

  2. I think labels can be helpful and harmful. To the extent that they might help a person to understand what is going with them, to the extent that they give us something real to grapple with, I think they can be helpful. BUT, when we or others start to see ourselves as nothing but the label, as reducible to the label, then I think they’re dangerous. I know what you mean when you talk about using a label as an excuse–sort of ‘living up to it’, if you like. I used to do that too. I think that was part of me taking myself to be identical with that label, if that makes sense.

    Interesting post! Thanks for sharing it.

    • Thank you so much for reading my post at the moment I think I really do agree that they are helpful and harmful and I guess I will discover more about myself as time goes on. I am so scared that I will hide behind the label but I guess if I am aware of this I can continue to fight it.

      • Yes, exactly! Mental illness or not, life is all about discovering who we are, and which of society’s labels we fit. Since you’re aware of how they can be a double-edged sword, you’re better equipped to handle it!

  3. I wouldn’t change my BPD label either. I’ve actually gained a lot from having this “disorder”. This anger, while excessive, allows me to stand up for myself which is something I was never able to do before when I experienced depression.

    • It is so nice to hear from someone else who would not change their situation and diagnosis of BPD. I spent a lot of time being self absorbed and questioning why this was happening. Then I realised that I would not be me if that was truly gone. It is so comforting to hear that others feel the same as sometimes it is very difficult to see past what is going on in my own mind. Thank you so much for the comment – it really means a lot to me :).

  4. As one of your close friends I love you for who you are. I hate to see you upset and sad but have also seen you smile and love more than anyone. You are beautiful to me no matter what labels are attached to you. I know what labels are like and sometimes they can help us to understand who we are and what we need to do in life. We all have labels I think it is what we take from them and how we use them to define ourselves. I love you xx

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